A group of guys that is slowly starting to make me root for the owners this offseason.
Carmelo Anthony. Just seeing that name in print triggers an attack on my nervous system even an alarming amount of beer can’t cure, and believe me I’ve experimented. He’s everywhere. Everything’s “Melo”. Melo this, Melo that. And now that we’ve gone through an All-Star Break of Melo Mania, with four straight days without a real NBA game, I’ve had it. Melo has harshed my mellow.
Well, he’s now a Knick. Finally. Shamefully (really, did he want to get his cash that badly that he made NY trade away all of their assets?). And he’ll probably praise himself at his press conference for how he handled all of this.
How I handled all of this was similar to how I handle a day-long hangover, which is writhing around in bed and finally forcing myself to vomit. Only this was every day for like six months.
We can finally vomit. Here are the specific chunks:
The Knicks get Anthony, Chauncey Billups, Shelden Williams, Anthony Carter, Renaldo Balkman and Corey Brewer. The Nuggets get Danilo Gallinari, Raymond Felton, Wilson Chandler, Timofey Mozgov and Donnie Walsh hiding in the luggage compartment. The Timberwolves get Anthony Randolph, the right to negotiate with Ricky Rubio over ice cream, cash, and Eddy Curry‘s body for medical research. In a widely-unreported off-shoot of the blockbuster, Damn Lies & Statistics blogger Tom Lorenzo, a long-time Gallinari shill, has been traded to the alternative Denver-area publication Rocky Mountain High, where he will cover Gallinari full-time, probably literally. In return, we receive an ounce of the copy desk’s finest “bubbly” and cash considerations, pending a Lorenzo physical.
Let’s examine the fantasy fallout (grades based on a five-Melohead system, five being the best fantasy situation). Continue reading