Grizzlies’ elimination provides excuse for gloating

Zach Randolph has long stared off into the distance dreaming of winning Jeff a fantasy championship.

Memphis falling to Oklahoma City in Game 7 of the Western semis seems like a perfect time to give y’all an update on the experts playoffs league the three of us slackers are in. Let’s put it this way: we’re naming this sucker after me next year. I am dominating my supposed peers once again, to the tune of a near-2,000-point lead heading into the conference finals. Last year I took the crown riding Kobe Bryant, Kevin Garnett and Rajon Rondo through the Finals. This year, I won this bad boy in the first two rounds, thanks to a wonderful run by the 8th-seeded Grizzlies, and I won’t be looking back other than to gloat. Which brings us to the only reason for this post.

You can see how the draft went here, where you can see that our esteemed commenter Bubbly can even figure out how asskickulous my team has been.

Let’s take a look at the masterfully-constructed squad:

First round (6th pick): Kevin Durant
A no-brainer selection and one I was particularly happy to make as I sensed a Spurs exit at the hands of the Thunder in the second round and then a conference finals where anything was possible. That’s essentially what we got, and Durant has been a stud nearly every night.

Second round (15th pick): Joakim Noah
I wanted a Bull or Laker here as that was my initial Finals scenario. Noah is great in this league because he blocks shots (worth six apiece). So far this pick is looking great. No complaints.

Third round (26th pick): Josh Smith
This was probably a mistake at the time but it has turned out okay. James Harden was on the board and probably should have been mine here so I could lean on the Thunder. Instead I went with another shot blocker, drooling at those six-point blocks. Turns out Smith turned in some huge games and his team took Chicago to six games in the second round. Hard to ask for more than that.

Fourth round (35th pick): Zach Randolph
Now here’s where everyone started taking crazy fliers on guys, and I made the decision to stick with sure-thing studs who I had a feeling could advance. With Manu Ginobili banged up, Memphis had a real shot against a San Antonio team that just couldn’t match the Grizz athletically. This has worked out beautifully – duh – as has my next pick…

Fifth round (46th pick): Jason Terry
A solid player from a team that is in the conference finals available this late was a steal. While Terry is merely average in this format, he’s one of three strong players I have remaining in the final two rounds. He’ll provide plenty of buffer room between me and any late-charging upstarts should Dallas advance to the Finals.

Sixth round (55th pick): Marc Gasol
I’m simultaneously typing this and bowing.

Seventh round (66th pick): Chris Paul
I feared a first-round sweep but got six games of fantasy studliness from CP3. Worked out perfectly.

Eighth round (75th pick): Tony Allen
There wasn’t much left when we got to this point, so I took a third Grizzly in hopes that I’d get lucky. Turns out I made the right call, even if Allen’s stats weren’t anything special. He was saved by his 25 steals, worth five apiece in our system.

To recap: Go Grizz. Hell yeah. Zach, Marc and Tony get a lifetime free pass from criticism from this author, that is until one of them slightly underachieves in a November contest next year.

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