I’ll Be Damned: A Chilly Goodbye

Time for another installment of I’ll Be Damned, in which I travel around the NBA marveling at things that make my roto-head hurt. After being granted a waiver by the World Wide Web Consortium, I don’t have to submit this column in a What I’m Thankful For format. After calling their help center and whining about Darren Collison for 17 straight minutes, they relented and let me proceed as I wish. Every other writer writing about anything at all this week wishes they were me.

But I am thankful for one thing: Brad Childress. The man was a riot on many levels and will be sorely missed. Watching football on Sundays while curled up in the fetal position weeping won’t be the same. Yes, I have a fantasy football problem. But when anything becomes less funny I get depressed (I’m thinking of you, The Office). Long live the Chill. And the Chill Dress.

Back to basketball…

I’ll be damned that…

…Andrea Bargnani is averaging just 4.8 rebounds.
I knew this guy was soft, but that’s ridiculous. Transparently, Bargs is making the leap this year as many predicted with Chris Bosh out of town. He’s averaging 21.7 points, including 28.3 in his last three. But his other numbers aren’t what we want. We drafted Bargnani as one of our centers and he is anemic on the boards. His blocks are way down (0.7). He has just one block in his last six games. The shooting percentage is decent (45.9) but very inconsistent. I say it is time to try to push him off on another owner for someone of a little more substance.

…Andrew Bogut deserves Comeback Player of the Year.
I mean, did you see his fall last year? I can’t believe the guy can bear to set foot on a basketball court again, never mind average an 11.6 & 10.9 with 2.7 blocks. Bogut’s elbow is going to be sore for him all year, and his shooting is suffering (just 46.3 percent at the line – even worse than his 59.6 career mark). He simply won’t shoot as much (so far, 10.4 FGA/game compared to 13.2 last year). But those boards and blocks are huge, and the Aussie is proving he is one of the game’s real warriors.

…it’s time to really think about picking up Shannon Brown.
He averages just 18:36 so I understand if you aren’t buying. But despite his limited role on the Lakers, Brown only has five games out of 14 where he’s scored in single digits. His 1.7 threes are helpful in any format. He averages a steal a game while shooting 52.3 percent from the field and 94.7 from the line. If those minutes ever go up due to an injury to say, Kobe Bryant or Ron Artest, you’ll want to have him stashed.

…coaches matter.
Just because Don Nelson is gone doesn’t mean we don’t have to worry about coaches toying with our fantasy emotions. Seriously. I use fantasy sports as a diversion from the trials and tribulations of real life, so when things don’t go my way in a given game I react like I was just cut off in traffic. It’s not a healthy way to juggle my emotions. So when guys like Kurt Rambis, Avery Johnson, John Kuester and Jim O’Brien mess with me and my players – be it holding back Kevin Love, banishing Troy Murphy, benching Rodney Stuckey or preferring T.J. Ford to Collison – I get very cranky. Note to coaches: point your players to the arena, play your best five together for as much as possible, and get out of the way. Please.

…Duh-Duh-Duh-Duh-Darko?
You knew I was going here. Darko delivered the line of the year on Friday (23 points, 16 rebounds, five assists, two steals, six blocks, 10-18 FG, 3-3 FT), then followed that up Monday with 21 points and three blocks on 9-14 shooting (although just four rebounds). What is going on here? Can anyone fill me in? Darko’s averaging 17.0 PPG, 8.8 RPG and 4.0 BPG in his last four, so it stands to reason Rambis will play him for seven minutes in his next game. But damn, those are some numbers. We’ve been teased before, but not this much. Pick him up, and pronto, if he’s available.

…the following players are so readily available in Yahoo! leagues.
Jose Calderon (63%), Darko (59%), Wesley Matthews (44%), Amir Johnson (38%), Kris Humphries (35%), Sonny Weems (33%), Kyle Lowry (15%), Al-Farouq Aminu (8%). Also worth a look: Brandon Rush (12%) and C.J. Miles (14%). Rush started at Miami on Monday and had 20 points on 9-15 shooting in 38 minutes. Miles is hot right now for Utah (22.5 ppg in last two) and is starting to learn how to fill up a box score with more than just threes.

Jeff Andriesse is a fantasy basketball writer whose work has appeared on RotoExperts.com, Yahoo! Fantasy Sports and The Damn Lies & Statistics Peer-Reviewed Journal of Amazing Damn Lies & Statistics Fantasy Basketball Articles and Origami. His column I’ll Be Damned appears Tuesdays, out of nowhere.

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2 responses to “I’ll Be Damned: A Chilly Goodbye

  • Robert W. Danger

    Am I ridiculous for considering dropping Collison for Hinrich or Matthews?

  • Jeff Andriesse

    Mr. Danger, that would be a dangerous move. Matthews is intriguing but I’d hold on to Collison as T.J. Ford could hurt himself getting out of bed in the morning. Reserve Collison for now if you can and play others. Hinrich’s value is limited now that Wall is back and Arenas is playing.

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