New Feature: Break Out the Bubbly

The Damn Lies & Statistics resident commenter extraordinaire, “bubbly”, has agreed to step up his game and contribute to our site throughout the year. I caught up with bubbs on the interwebs and got the answers to some piercing questions such as “who are you?” and “really? that’s who you are?”. Presented with minimal editing so that undeniable bubbly wit can shine through, you’ll learn a ton this week and in the weeks to come, not to mention wonder if using the word “resident” to describe this guy is a bit of a misnomer. Let it never be said that commenting on Damn Lies blog posts won’t get you famous…ish.

Jeff: Welcome to the first installment of Break Out the Bubbly, where we bring in our favorite Commenter to talk some hoops. Bubbs, why don’t you tell the audience a little bit about yourself.

bubbly: Well, the homeless fantasy bball community is eager to add in anyway possible.

(Ahem. Looking around nervously. Wondering if this is a good idea. Come on, Andriesse, come up with something here!)
It is a generally unheard-from group. We’re glad to offer a forum. Tell us about your fantasy basketball history.
Drafted McDyess his rookie year so I do feel like a vet now.  I am still smarting from Arenas last year. I need to have a morals rating. Lost Sprewell back in the day. But we all have sad stories to tell. I am emotionally prepared for injuries. But losing them to idiocy is harder.
Well, if you keep drafting Arenas, you might be beyond help. I had that problem once myself. So, what types of leagues do you play in?
Just one. With my boys. 9-cat roto. 12 players.
Tell me if I’m out of line, but do your boys, um… how do I put this… have homes? I’m picturing 12 guys under an overpass holding a draft.
(Laughs) They have homes. Families. Etc. Yes. I am the ‘black sheep’. Yes. Avoid overpasses! Roto or H2H! And dont ever give money. The real homeless hate beggars more than you know.
(I don’t know for sure if he is homeless. I hope not. But I think I’m still going to brag about us being the first fantasy basketball blog to interview a homeless man. I guess in this economy the odds are pretty good somebody would.)

How did you stumble across Damn Lies & Statistics? Your commentary is quite the hit here in corporate headquarters.
Wow! I wish I knew! Was just looking for fantasy rankings in the August doldrums. Must’ve been Google. It was a relief to find.
(We’ll be using that as our masthead from now on. “Damn Lies & Statistics: It’s a relief to find!”)
When is your draft? Do you know what pick you have? What do you think the order of the first round should be in a 9-cat roto league?
Saturday. We dont know the order til it starts. Must be agile!  Durant, CP3, James, Dirk, Stephen Curry, Kobe, Pau, Granger, D-Williams, Amare
No Dwyane Wade. Are you nervous about him this year?
I know leaving Wade off will not be wholly supported. Yes. Nervous. Maybe ahead of Amare on my baby list there.
What are your thoughts on Wade and the new Heat?
They will all do well in a fantasy capacity. But I am worried about egos and injuries.  The law of averages may catch up with the superfriends.
Give the Damn Lies readers a few sleepers and a few busts, Bubbly-style.
Sleepers = Luke Ridnour. Johnny Flynn will stayed glued to the bench when healthy. Sleeper = DeJuan Blair. May start. Bubbly needs boards!  Dont forget George Hill. Parker or Manu will get hurt this year! Bust = Anthony Randolph. I’m sorry. I’ll listen to you guys on Batum. Not him.  I dont want to do another bust. This is the time of hope!
(We’re pretty much off the Randolph bandwagon until further notice. Do NOT draft him to be one of your starters.)

Well, let’s end it on a hopeful note. Finally, everyone wants to know: Why “Bubbly”?
I got the name ‘bubbly’ in the Navy. Best two weeks of my life!
(A free DL&S coaster to whoever can guess what bubbly means by this. Stay tuned for answers!)

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