Damn Lies Fantasy Preview: Detroit Pistons

We saved the best for last, didn’t we? DEEE-TROIT BASKET-zzzzzzz… Oh, snap. Look what you’ve wrought, Joe Dumars. The Pistons are the butt of jokes made by normally serious bloggers such as the pillars of journalistic ethics here at Damn Lies & Statistics. We’re proud to wrap up our 2010-11 fantasy previews with the Pistons, the worst team to even think about from a fantasy perspective. I mean, really. This roster is such a horror show. Is there a single player on this team that couldn’t fluxuate between starter and 15th man this season? Let’s wade into the muck.

Congratulations, New Coke, you're off the hook. Dumars signed McGrady.

LIES
The Pistons were a once-proud franchise that challenged for the Eastern Conference title annually up until a few years ago. Maybe it was the trade of Chauncey Billups for Allen Iverson, followed by rewarding Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva with undeserved riches, that sunk them. Okay, not maybe; it was definitely all of that. What we’re left with is a team with no stars, no clear starter at ANY position and a majority of fantasy players wondering if any Piston is worth it on draft day. I count one who I wouldn’t mind adding as a final starter or reserve: Rodney Stuckey. Even Stuckey comes with too many limitations to count on regularly. His field goal percentage is atrocious (41 percent), he dishes it less than five times a game, he doesn’t hit threes and he is volunteering to be the Sixth Man. And this is their top fantasy option.

 

DAMN LIES
I like Gordon to bounce back from a brutal debut season in Motown, but only because he has nowhere to go but up. Who thought that Gordon’s contract would be worth it if he was backing up Richard Hamilton every night? At least they traded Hamilton in the offseason, only they didn’t. He’s still here. What? And knowing all of this, Dumars went and signed Tracy McGrady, a decision that ranks right up there among the all-time historically awful ones ever made, worse than New Coke and nearly as bad as Decca Records passing on The Beatles in 1962. No worries: Hamilton or McGrady can play small forward, right? Since Dumars moved Tayshaun Prince in the offseason? That didn’t happen either? Jesus.

STATISTICS
The aforementioned Villanueva has been such a bust that he quite possibly might be the sixth forward on the depth chart among all of this team’s SFs and PFs, and that’s without even mentioning Jonas Jerebko, who will miss the season touring Europe with his brothers. The starting power forward might turn out to be Austin Daye, a second-year player with lots of upside, most of it in the “eating” category. This guy is skinny. Nobody would be shocked if Daye and rookie Greg Monroe saw major minutes in the frontcourt this year, as veterans Chris Wilcox and Jason Maxiell haven’t done enough to stand out and Ben Wallace is hoping to be the first NBA player to play a game completely embalmed. DaJuan Summers is a sneaky sleeper should 43 of the 47 players ahead of him get injured. On a positive note, one of my favorite players in the League is the diminutive Will Bynum, who is a nice deep-league draft pick but, like many of his teammates, a man without a plan. Terrico White is a rookie blah blah blah something. Perhaps. Fascinated to see how this all turns out? Neither are we, to be honest. Thirty teams down, and I’m goin’ to bed.

DEPTH CHART
PG: Rodney Stuckey, Will Bynum
SG: Richard Hamilton, Ben Gordon
SF: Tayshaun Prince, Tracy McGrady
PF: Austin Daye, Charlie Villanueva
C: Ben Wallace, Greg Monroe

Damn Lies & Statistics Team Previews

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