Daily Lies & Statistics: Sargent vs. York

When I was a young shaver, I would spend two, three, 10 hours a day watching dopey sitcoms and it has helped shape me into the man I am today. I’ve always considered myself a deep thinker, and let the proverbial proof be in the pudding, with the admission of evidence my poignant debates on which of the Darrens was most captivating. With my sincerest apologies to the two Dicks, my answer is officially Collison. It has taken me 16 weeks, but I finally have a productive guard in the Damn Lies League.

Darren Collison has Greg completely bewitched.

Like a cat, I hopped on the Yewcla product as soon as Chris Paul chose surgery as the course of action for his ailing left knee. In a season of Devin Harris’, Larry Hughes’ and Jonny Flynns, I finally have something to grin about following a 27-point, nine-assist, four-steal debut on my squad. Paul is expected to miss another month, and with the Hornets barely clinging to hope for the final playoff spot in the West, it may be foolish to bring him back at all. Point being, if he’s somehow still available, jump on Collison like you mean it.

Monday was a light night in the Association for Pituitary Cases who Enjoy Playing Basketball. Let’s see what transpired.

Orlando 123,  New Orleans 117

Vince had more points (48) in this one than Carter has liver pills. I know it may seem like an optical illusion to Vinsanity owners everywhere, but he did take out his frustrations on the defenseless Hornets with his season high total. Throw in a blistering 19-for-27 from the field and six 3-pointers and that’s quite a night for this long-time member of fantasy royalty. He was supported by Dwight Howard, who recorded another 25 points, 12 rebounds and four rejects. The Hornets had three players notch 27 or more points, including Collison, David West (27) and The Artist Formerly Known as Peja Stojakovic (29). Peja, whose corpse was exhumed moments before tipoff, also added nine rebounds and five assists.

Dallas 127,  Golden St. 117

Jason Terry posted the best fantasy line of his career in this one, erupting for 36 points, nine rebounds, six assists, three steals, six 3-pointers and 12-of-13 from the line. The move to the starting five is suiting him well. Josh Howard added 25 points off the bench and Drew Gooden contributed 24 points and 10 boards. Howard is way too inconsistent of a human being to draw in a coloring book let alone start on someone’s fantasy team. When Gooden receives starter’s minutes, he typically produces big rebounding numbers. The Warriors had only six players receive significant time and were led by Anthony Morrow‘s 33 points and 11 boards. If Corey Maggette is going to miss a chunk of time with a finger injury or anything in the ingrown toenail family, there is no reason why the sweet-shooting Morrow can’t continue to post gaudy totals. Maybe not this gaudy, but solid nonetheless. Stephen Curry continued his torrid play with 25 points and nine assists and league minimum power forward Anthony Tolliver added 14 points and 11 boards in a game that must have been a joy to be a part of.

LA Lakers 101,  San Antonio 89

I don’t know why the Spurs are so blah this year as this could be their final opportunity to challenge the Lakers for Western Conference supremacy. Richard Jefferson doesn’t appear to be fitting in as well as one would have thought and perhaps they need a big man born after LBJ ruled the White House… I’m sure Gregg Popovich is equally puzzled. But Timmy Duncan is still Timmy Duncan and totaled 16 points, 15 boards and four blocks last night. With Tony Parker back (20 pts, 8 ast), George Hill (2-8 fg, 1 ast) is again starting at two guard, but had a difficult time getting it going. The Lakers, sans Kobe, were led by the best big man on the planet, Pau Gasol, who gave his owners an early Valentine’s Day present with 21 points, 19 rebounds, eight assists and five blocks… yowsa, yowsa, yowsa. Is that the big man line of the year? I would love nothing more than for Kobe to be held hostage by a group of angry Mongolians the remainder of the year and have Pow lead the Lakers to the promised land. Shannon Brown has started the last two games, but with Kobe and Andrew Bynum set to return no later than right after the All-Star break, there is little reason to pick him up.

Eleven games tonight, including Hawks/Grizzlies, Mavs/Nuggets, Thunder/Blazers.

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