The DL&S Mid-Season Awards…AKA the “Damnies”.

Because we here at Damn Lies love nothing more than giving out fantasy awards, we decided to share with you our mid-season winners (and losers). Jeff is working on a song montage about the first 41 games of the season. But until we can figure out how to get it posted on the site, please enjoy our first ever DL&S awards show, heretofore known as “The Damnies”. And it’s Kanye-Free!.

Welcome to the Damnies! Rent a tux and email Tom and Jeff your goofiest midseason fantasy awards.


All-Value Team

PG: Tyreke Evans – Leading rookies with 20 ppg. Also adds 4.9 boards, 5.0 assists.
SG: Stephen Curry – Another rookie with a huge impact. Ranked 42nd in Y!
SF: Danilo Gallinari – What can I say? Loved this guy heading into the season.
PF: Carl Landry – The best frontcourt player in Houston. Nope, not Luis Scola.
C: Marc Gasol – The “other” Gasol rather is now known as Marc.

Player I Owe an Apology To: Zach Randolph… I’m sorry. You’re good.

Player I Should Have Seen Coming: Joakim Noah – He was a 10/12/2 guy last season in his per-36 numbers.

Player Who Owes an Apology To Me: Jason Thompson – There are a few, but I thought he would be up in the Top 50 this season. Instead he’s at No. 100, just where he was projected to be. (Jose Calderon got off easy. I will forgive your injury)

Worst Injury: Greg Oden – He was cookin’ before he went down — 11.1 points, 8.5 boards, 2.3 blocks, 60.5 FG%, 76.6 FT%. I may be crazy for saying this, but Oden would have been a Top 20 fantasy baller this season if it weren’t for his injury.

Best Fantasy Coach: Lionel Hollins – No sure how he did it, but he got Allen Iverson to leave the team, Randolph to lead the team, and me to need this team. His Grizzlies are the only team in the league with three 18 PPG scorers and two 9.5 rebounders.

Worst Fantasy Coach: Nah, I’m kidding. You know it’s Don Nelson.

Lifetime Achievement: Kobe Bryant became the youngest player to score 25,000 points. He hit it on Thursday in Cleveland… on a free-throw. Yawn.

Sundiata Gaines Award: Ty Lawson – He came up big when Chauncey Billups went down. It was almost like you still had Chauncey in your lineup. (Randy Foye just missed eligibility.)

Player To Be Named Later: DeMar DeRozan – I have a feeling about him in the second half. Nothing to base it on other than a gut feeling.

Matteen Cleaves Towl Waivin’ Award: Larry Hughes – He’s the best player in the league right now with eight DNP-CD’s over his last 10 games.


The Waiver Wire All-Stars

PG: Brandon Jennings
SG: Tyreke Evans
SF: Danilo Gallinari
PF: Carl Landry
C: Brendan Haywood
FYI: This is my ballot, but I’m soliciting YOUR votes for the Waiver Wire All-Stars, to be announced this week in my and Yahoo! waiver wire column. To vote, simply send your first and second teams to

The Marcus Can’t Be’s (Guys I swore off who are amazing)
PG: Mo Williams
SG: Stephen Jackson
SF: Carmelo Anthony
PF: Zach Randolph
C: Marcus Camby

The Boris Di-ouch Memorial All-Backpedal Team (Guys I loved in the preseason who are terrible)
PG: Devin Harris
SG: Leandro Barbosa
SF: Tyrus Thomas
PF: Boris Diaw
C: Spencer Hawes

The Damn Lies League Houdini Actors (I’m in first place as of this writing despite drafting these fellows)
PG: Mario Chalmers
SG: Michael Redd
SF: Tyrus Thomas
PF: Rashard Lewis
C: Greg Oden

My Top 5 Desert Island Albums (Greatest Hits not eligible)
PG: London Calling, The Clash
SG: A Hard Day’s Night, The Beatles
SF: Funeral, Arcade Fire
PF: Exile on Main Street, The Rolling Stones
C: Darkness on the Edge of Town, Bruce Springsteen

The Unlikely Second-Half Season-Savers (Technically, a prediction award, but if you think it should be disallowed here, technically, get your own blog)
PG: Andre Miller
SG: Carlos Delfino
SF: Jared Jeffries
PF: DeJuan Blair
C: Robin Lopez


This looks like way too much fun. I’ve got to join the foray.

All-LaRue Martin Team (Huge disappointments who have ruined many a fantasy season)
PG: Devin Harris
SG: John Salmons
SF: Hedo Turkoglu
PF: Boris Diaw
C:  Andris Biedrins

All-Stevie Franchise Team (Players in their prime whose careers have come to a screeching halt this season)
PG: Devin Harris
SG: Michael Redd
SF: Josh Howard
PF: Tyrus Thomas
C:  Tyson Chandler

All-Chucky Brown Team (players who desperately need a change of scenery)
PG: TJ Ford
SG: Kevin Martin
SF: Hakim Warrick
PF: Elton Brand
C:  Sam Dalembert

All-Bill Walton Team (Guys who simply can’t stay on the court)
PG: Jameer Nelson/Gilbert Arenas
SG: Ben Gordon
SF: Ron Artest
PF: Kenyon Martin
C:  Greg Oden

All-Bill Cartwright Team (Most annoying guys to own this season)
PG: Mike Conley
SG: Ben Gordon/Eric Gordon
SF: Trevor Ariza
PF: Anthony Randolph
C:  Andrew Bynum

And for my only positive awards…

All-Fat Lever Team (Bargain basement guys who are doing work)
PG: Aaron Brooks/Tyreke Evans
SG: Kirk Hinrich
SF: Danilo Gallinari
PF: Carl Landry
C:  Marc Gasol

Got any awards of your own you’d like to get off your chest? Email Tom or Jeff with your selections. The funnier the better – we’ll give you props if you make us laugh.


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